Monday, November 19, 2007

The Poop on Poop Etiquette

The girls, (and some of the guys) who work with and for me are all very open about their bodily functions. We know everyone’s cycle, about gas and yeast infections…you name it. One of our favorite topics of conversation just happens to be pooping. I don’t know why, we are just enamored with pooping.

There is a stigma around here about pooping at work—at least among the girls. Guys, as you know, have no shame. The majority of people don’t feel like anyone in their right mind should be taking a crap in the same bathroom as 10 other women. I know, it’s not an ideal situation. But seriously?

There are several people here who can’t poop anywhere other than their own bathroom. One goes so far as to say that she can’t even go on vacation. She spends entire weeks miserable and holding it. Then again, she won’t even fart in front of her husband.

Others feel free to poop with reckless abandon. Wherever, whenever, they just go.

Where do you fall in?

A. Sara, I feel very uncomfortable with this line of questioning, please knock it off and write something about your kids or something.
B. I can only poop behind closed doors in the privacy of my own home
C. If I have to go, I have to go. Deal with it.
D. I actually plan on pooping at work, or better yet, at someone else’s house so that I can keep my toilet clean and save on the cost of toilet paper. The less cleaning, the better.

I’d also like to know if you fart in front of your significant other.

Here is my opinion:

I will not go out of my way to poop at work, however, should the need arise; I will not inconvenience my body so that you are not offended. I will however, go to the bathroom at the other end of the building where I am less recognized, and use an intricate pattern of flushing and air freshener spritz to disguise what I am doing all the way down there in the handicapped stall. I will probably wait until the bathroom is pretty close to empty before I exit. On the farting—I’m a firm believer in that if my name appears on the mortgage, I am entitled to pass gas anywhere in my own home. The car too.

Well, I hope your eyes aren’t bleeding from reading this or anything………but it had to be said.

8 comments:

bananafana said...

can i just cut and paste what you had? I hate to do it but I will at work if necessary (in a bathroom on a different floor if empty of other people). as to farting - how do you NOT fart in front of your husband?

LoriD said...

You talk about it AT WORK?? My high school friends loved to talk about all their bodily functions. I would just walk away. So I pick A - enough with the poop talk! Hee.

Jess said...

My opinion matches yours exactly. But we do not discuss poop or farting at work, and honestly I prefer it that way.

emily said...

hehehe
I LOVE this post! :) we tend to talk about it at work ... but then again, I'm kinda in the business of pooping :)

I fall into category "c" - if I have to go, I'm gonna go. Mostly b/c I have been taking calcium and iron, which are both constipating ... and so I drink coffee to make me poop ... and I'm certainly not gonna hold it in just because there's other people in the bathroom. I suppose it's not very polite of me or whatever, but oh well. (and actually most of our bathrooms are the one-person kind)

and I don't have a significant other, so I can't answer the farting question ;)

Mommy Daisy said...

I usually poop at home...mostly because I'm here a lot. But I will poop other places without caring too much.

And yes, I do fart in front of my husband. If possible I try to leave the room or make it quiet, though.

misguidedmommy said...

I am a B and noooooo farting in front of the hubs

bethany said...

Heh. This post is funny!

I actually try not to go at all while I'm at work - just because I'm lazy and our little bathroom is FREEZING. Also, when we first moved into the office a year ago, they had lots of issues with the toilets and had to replace the one in the women's room, so I try not to poop in it because I worry that it'll somehow decide to self-destruct, and then it'll be my fault and everyone will know it. So I just hold it in if possible while I'm there.

But when I worked in a large office with lots of bathrooms, I would generally do what you do - empty bathroom, different area.

I've never liked farting in front of my husband. However, when I got pregnant, sometimes I just couldn't help it! It doesn't seem to bother me quite as much anymore, but I still don't like it.

Misty said...

LOL. You are awesome. Talk about moving folks out of their bloggy comfort zone!

I am a C., but we have a one person restroom at work with an excellent brand of air freshener and a vent. So I don't mind "doing my business" there.

But (don't tell I told you)...
HONEY can't 'use the facilities' whilst on vacation. Isn't that ca-razy?

Oh? And the farting thing? We are polite about it. No just letting it rip with wild abandon or anything. But there are moments where we sheepishly look at one another and say, "Ooops!" But we have only been married for two years. That probably has something to do with it.

Oy! Look at this! I will shut up now.