K E T C H U P

I remember singing a song in grade school, something along the lines of

“Ketchup is good on most anything! Hot Dogs! Hamburger! Onion Rings!”

I thought about it the other day as I made some wonderfully tender, flavorful breaded turkey cutlets for dinner. They were quite amazing, if I do say so myself. Naturally, I took offense when Ed put ketchup on them. KETCHUP! ON TURKEY!

He said to me at one point during dinner

“The ketchup tastes kind of weird….”

I didn’t even look up from my plate, but replied quite snarkily

“Perhaps it’s because you’re dipping TURKEY in it.”

I was livid, and so offended, and so……like my mother……in that moment.

But seriously, what in the hell would possess you to slather ketchup all over your perfectly good dinner? To be honest with you, I find it to be quite rude.

I blame his mother, who coats my perfect pork chops in the stuff. I know, right!! MY PORK CHOPS! They taste like heaven!

His mother who upon dishing herself a plate of my cheesy Italian goulash this past Saturday, immediately went to the fridge and squeezed ketchup all over it.

I threw her out of my house.

OK, not really, but I sure felt like it.

And what happened when I politely informed her that there was already ketchup in the goulash?

She giggled and took her seat.