Because I'm too tired to post, here are 2 amusing pictures. :)

“Why doesn’t she just get a breast reduction?”

I’m sitting in an office with 3 of my peers. The girl walking by has like, an FF cup. I’ve spoken to her about this before. So I tell them- it’s because she wants to breast feed some day, and doesn’t want to jeopardize that.

All three of these women were non breast feeders, while I was. They pretty much trashed breast feeding. “None of my friends did it. I don’t think large breasted women can do it. I don’t think small breasted women can do it. Why would anyone even want to put themselves through that? Isn’t 9 months enough?”

I was (rightfully in my opinion) upset, and I let them know. I breastfed both of my children, and I have very strong feelings on the subject. Unless a woman or her baby has a medical issue that prevents it, I think that every woman owes it to her baby to try breastfeeding. If it doesn’t work out, for what ever reason, it doesn’t work out. But trying is necessary.

Breastfeeding for me, especially with Eddie, my first, was such a wonderful experience. The bonding, the sense of being their sole form of nourishment, the sense that I could still offer them my body’s protection even after they left the womb…It was a great accomplishment for me.

I breastfed Eddie for 7 months and my goal was 6 months. I would have done it longer, but as he increasingly ate more solid foods and as he got so big so fast (he was 20 lbs by the time he was 9 months old) the breast milk was not enough to sustain him. Caitlyn was a lot different. She weaned herself at 4 months because she couldn’t see what was going on- she has been an opinionated busybody since day 1- without her nursing regularly and only being able to pump twice a day at work, my milk dried up fairly quickly.

My point here, is that I tried. I didn’t nurse either of my kids for the recommended year, but I tried. It was inconvenient and uncomfortable at times, but I did it anyway for the sake of my children. With all that is known today about the benefits of breast feeding, I don’t know why more women wouldn’t just try it.

I have to wonder if Subway saves money by only giving you one napkin in that plastic bag they put your sandwich in. They must, judging by the looks they give you if you (heaven forbid) ask for some extras. You really have to wonder. I’m making a mental note to ask my little brother, who is a faithful Subway employee.

So anyway, hello. It’s Tuesday. It still feels like Monday though, or maybe even like it’s last Friday still. I’m in a fog. Caitlyn caught a nasty cold and I’ve been up with her all night, every night since Saturday. Does anyone else wonder why their kids are fine during the day, but seem to be on the brink of death after sundown? I suspect it’s some sort of phenomenon. Out of nowhere last night, Eddie decided that he was also sick. I had no sooner settled down with my Lean Cuisine, glass of chardonnay and TiVo remote than he began screaming that he doesn’t feel good, and need to sleep with me. So, I gorged and guzzled, and settled in to my bed with him, to fall blissfully asleep while watching “Dancing with the Stars”. In case you’re wondering, blissfully asleep means Eddie’s face and sick-o-breath right in my face and an obscene amount of snorting and sniffing with the occasional cough. Cait was up screaming at 2:00, asking for, of all things, a bottle which she hasn’t had in quite some time. I made it for her. I though, “screw all that we’ve worked for, I am way too tired for this.” She went back to sleep, but didn’t touch the bottle, so I wasted 6oz of milk. It was worth it for the fact that both kids were sleeping. I moved Eddie to his bed and settled in to sleep by myself for a while. All was peaceful until 4:45, when somehow, both kids were up screaming again. Cait went back to be easily, while Eddie came back to bed with me. I had even less room this time, since Ed had come home from work by now. In short (ok, in way too long….) I’m really tired.

I spent a lot of time today reading here which is a hysterical debate over tampons/pads vs. “The DivaCup” or “The Keeper”. Very amusing, and for what it’s worth I don’t think that I would use either of the “newfangled” collection cups. Disgusting. This was really one of the funniest threads I’ve read in a long time.

Nothing else is really going on. Ed has recovered nicely from his tonsillectomy. There were a few rough spots, but he did really well. I injured my wrist quite badly this weekend while lifting a box of tray tables at my sister-in-law’s shower. It’s not the bone, but I think I have some deep muscle thing going on. It’s freaking killing me. And I’m scheduled to get this stoooopid temporary crown off on Thursday, and get the real ceramic version installed, so I’m VERY excited. Especially since the temporary actually has a hole in it. They weren’t kidding when they said temporary.

I’m pretty sure I’ve griped enough for the day, so I’m going to get back to work on building a whole new list of issues to gripe about tomorrow.

I feel old, crampy, bloated and arthritic today. Perfect time for a survey, right? Here it is!!



FIRST BORN SURVEY

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? I had been tracking my ovulation, but Ed wasn't sure about having a baby. One night after work, he told me that he wanted to have a baby. That's the day I got pregnant.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Very excited, but scared, and also a little bit in disbelief

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? NEVER!

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 25


6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I went to the dr for something completely unrelated but mentioned that I was having horrible cramping that midol wasn't even touching. My period was a day late. Dr. said to take a test just to be sure. She told me it would take about 10 minutes to develop, but came running back in the room 3 minutes later to say that I was, in fact, pregnant.


7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Ed, then Rosanne and Beverly

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? I did. makes planning a lot easier. Plus, I am just so darn nosy....

9. DUE DATE? 1/4/04

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes...but I never threw up from it.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? twinkies and root beer. (I'm convinced this is why Eddie won't eat veggies....) I drank root beer morning, noon and night to the point that I can't even look at it anymore. Snyder's Spicy Jalapeno Pepper Pretzle Pieces.

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? the real question is who didn't iritiate me. People at work still talk about how miserable I was.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? boy

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? not really. i was good either way

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 40 lbs

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? yes

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNACY? Not until it came to laboring a gigantic baby

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Sister's Hospital

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? Well, I was 5 cm at the dr.'s office and no pain or contractions. They induced me at 6:00 pm and I had him by 2:13 am, so..... 8 hours

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Ed-, but we stopped at the bank, and to get him food on the way-(god I was so hungry and I couldn't eat because they thought they might do a c-section. the chicken salad sandwich I ate while they were stitching me up still ranks as one of the best meals I've ever eaten.)

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Ed, the doctor, and a ton of nurses.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? natural

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Ummm, yes. Pitocin is evil so I had an epidural.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 10lbs 2 oz

28. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? He was a littly hypo-glycemic, due to his weight-nothing a little nursing couldn't take care of.

29. WHAT DAY WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ON? 1/7/2004

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Edmund Mason

31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 3 years, 2 months. ~sniff~

I’ve been quiet, I know. I’ve actually been crazy sick since last Friday, with tonsillitis. I went to the Dr. on Tuesday and was advised that I should probably see someone about taking my tonsils out. (yeah, that's not happening) Ironically, Ed had his tonsils out on Wednesday. Actually, it was his tonsils, adenoids and they re-sculpted the roof of his mouth and removed his uvula. Yuck. He was doing really well up until last night- eating, talking etc. All of the sudden though, he started feeling horrible, the pain killer wasn’t working and he started swelling some more. I think the good stuff from the hospital finally wore off. Today, he is worse then yesterday, and I don’t know what the weekend will bring.

The surgery itself went really well. My mother-in-law drove me nuts, but the surgery went well. She showed up late, played the “doting mother” and then slept in the waiting room the whole time with her winter glove over her eyes. She got pissed when Ed was in recovery, and they would only let me back there. (He needed help getting dressed) So now here’s the kicker. I sent her, along with Ed’s scripts, and my VISA which is linked to my healthcare account to target to get everything filled while I took Ed home and got him settled. We were home for a full 45 minutes before she got back to our house, and when she did come back, she had a horrible look on her face. I asked he what was the matter, and she told me that she lost my card. I asked her to repeat herself, and she said it again. She lost my card. She said she must have flipped it out of her purse when she took the scripts out. She ended up paying for the meds out of her pocket. I am not paying her back. I don’t know how something like that could happen. Anyway, it was cancelled and no extra charges were made. I just need to wait for the new one now. Irritating.

I’ve slept like crap the last few nights and am really beat right now. I could curl up under my desk.

Not much else going on. Eddie has been obsessed with “The Tigger Movie” and watching it at least once a day. Caitlyn has been playing with her baby more and more, wrapping her in her blanket and telling us all to “shhh” as she rocks her. It’s really cute.

I have my bowl-a-thon tomorrow at 8:30 AM. Yippee! Go Junior Achievement!

We have kids. Two of them actually.

They cry, scream or fight 98% of the time.

It’s usually Caitlyn with the crying. It could be any number of things. You took her shoe off perhaps, or she can’t buckle something herself. Maybe she just needs to play with the knife in your hand or take the cap off your too-full bottle of water. It always starts the same- her face gets red, her eyes well up, and she shrieks until she finally dissolves in to hysterical sobs. Ed and I sometimes catch each others eye, and I know the same thought goes through our minds. The words I spoke not long after she was born. “What the hell were we thinking?” Then, as quick as it started, it stops and she moves on to something else. She inevitably gives me her 3-tooth jack-o-lantern smile, and I fall in love with her all over again.

The screaming is all Eddie. It’s his sole form of expressing displeasure. Sometimes it’s a low grunt, like maybe you offended him by asking how his day was (not good apparently) or asked him to please take his peanut buttered bread off of the couch. Other times it’s a long drawn out scream, and for good reason. “No TV tonight Eddie.” , “You have to take a bath tonight Eddie.” He always succeeds in winning me over later though, no matter how bad our day was. He always gives me 5 kisses and hugs for bedtime and tells me “I love you very very very very very MUCH!” (Much, appropriately, is a high pitched shriek)

There are things about each of them that I love so much. The wonderfully perfect shape of Caitlyn’s mouth and the way that when she smiles she does it with her whole face. The curve of Eddie’s nose, and how sweet and caring he is toward his little sister. I’ve heard parents say my whole life how their kids being cute saves them sometimes. What saves them from punishment, or the wrath of Mom though is pure unadulterated love. For all of the stress, and screaming and fighting, what it comes down to is that I love these kids so much. And I want them to be happy.

In my mind, today is still the weekend. It’s still the weekend even though I’m at work (on a bank holiday) and am getting slammed. In my mind, I haven’t gorged myself on doughnuts or drunk almost half of a “Box O’Joe”. I’m home and toasty with my kids, admiring the near foot of snow in our yard. Maybe even playing in the snow again today like we did for an entire 30 minutes yesterday.

I am actually at work though. Our call volumes have been horrendous, so we’ve been open for the past 2 holidays. There’s actually a lull in activity right now, and I need a minute away from it all. It’s been crazy.

We had a wonderful weekend, Saturday being a lazy day where nothing got done. The kids both have colds, again, and weren’t feeling so well. Ed worked and the three of us laid around. The kids (and I actually) stayed in their jammies all day. Ed came home just in time for their nap, and he and I napped as well. The kids slept almost 3 hours and Ed got up at some point, but I passed out cold, and slept until Caitlyn woke up. Eddie slept so soundly that he peed in his pants (“I’m soaked and wet Mommy” …not soaking wet.  ) I was actually out of it the rest of the night, being thrown off from sleeping. Ed went back to work and I didn’t make it up much longer than the kids.

Yesterday, we played in the snow. We were out for all of half an hour, but it seemed like an eternity. The kids had a really good time, and once again, Eddie took a really long nap. Caitlyn, not so much, but I didn’t sleep so it was ok. I actually finally took care of my salt and pepper roots, that I don’t think a 28-year-old should have. But anyway… I clipped coupons and cleaned up around the house a bit. We ordered chicken for dinner and watched NASCAR. Ed left for work again around 6:30. I bathed the kids, and got them in bed. Caitlyn threw a huge temper tantrum. That girl, I’m telling you. She begs me to sit on the potty, but then won’t sit on it. Then she screams when I put her diaper on. She’s started slapping my arm when she doesn’t like something. She’s trying my patience. I didn’t get Eddie in bed until 9:00 and I watched Desperate Housewives. After feeding the cats and shutting down the house, I went in to check on them both. Caitlyn was sound asleep, but Eddie rolled over to look at me. I asked him if he was ok. “Yes”, he said, “But my feelings hurt.” Of course, I brought him in to bed with me. He just melts my heart sometimes.

So, overall, it was a very ordinary weekend. Here are some of our snowy…and not so snowy pictures.

My Darling Boy

Eddie fell last night. He wasn’t even screwing around which I think makes it worse. I had gone in to the kitchen to make a cup of tea and he was leaning over the arm of the couch to see what I was doing. In less than a second, he was on the floor. Screaming hysterically, “My head! My arm!”

I picked him up and immediately looked at his teeth. I have a major paranoia about my kids knocking their teeth out. All the teeth are there and the mouth isn’t bloody. He buried his head in my shoulder and I took him in to the kitchen where the light is better and where he was farther away from his sleeping sister. I asked him to show me his teeth again and that’s when I saw it. The larger-than-a-golf-ball goose egg on the right hand side of his forehead.

I really caught me by surprise.

I screamed.

“Oh my god!!”

This worked wonders for his level of hysterics.

“What?!?!” he screamed back in an alarming sob.

Yeah, I wasn’t as cool and calm as I should have been at the beginning. I explained that he had a bump on his head. He told me that he landed on Caitlyn’s buggy (which on a side note, she pushes around looking for her baby saying “beeebeeee, are you??” in the cutest sing-songy type voice) I called the dr’s answering service. I called Ed. My Father-In-Law came out of his room to stand around and keep saying “Wow! Shit! I never seen anything swell up dat fast”

Eddie calmed down pretty quickly and we played “count mommy’s fingers” and “what color is…” and “ok, just one more time, make big eyes for Mommy” for about 30 minutes. He wouldn’t let me ice it, but he did accept M&M’s and milk. When I asked him what his name was, he told me “Eddie” and proceeded to spell his full last name for me. (I don’t know he could do that prior to suspecting that he had a concussion) I was pretty sure he was fine.

The Dr. called back and assured me that unless he was googley eyed and barfing that he was probably fine. He told me in his think Indian accent that “this was all part of a little boy growing up” (but for some reason I think Cait will be worse…)

Eddie was in fact fine, and took some Motrin for his headache. He then milked his booboo situation in to being able to sleep on the couch until I went to bed, and then eventually coming to bed with Ed and me.

He was fine this morning and enjoyed telling EVERYONE at daycare how he fell off the couch. (His teacher also told me that Eddie broke their toilet seat yesterday, but that’s a story for another day) Hopefully, CPS won’t be at my door this evening.

Raising kids and being a mommy through thick and thin is the hardest job I’ve ever had. And I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Ok, I realize that this could totally be a fluke, but I find it to be quite amazing.

I went to the store last night to grab a few things, and when I got home, Ed had Caitlyn in the bedroom, changing her diaper. (no, that’s not the amazing part…haha) He said her diaper was dry, but that she was grabbing at it and saying something which he interpreted to mean diaper. So he put a clean diaper on her and we put her in her pajamas.

A little while later, she was grabbing at her diaper again saying the mystery word that Ed thought meant diaper, and tried to pull down her pants. “Pa-eee? Pa-eee?” She said POTTY! I never in a million years thought she knew what she was talking about, but I decided to take her in the bathroom anyway. What could it hurt?

I got out Eddie’s retired potty seat and sat her on it. She freaked out hard core-I guess she was afraid to sit on the toilet. I set her down to put the seat away, and before I could get her diaper on, she peed all over the floor. I think she actually knew that she had to pee.

I’m sure that since I’m discussing it, and am actually excited about it, she won’t be potty trained until she’s 4….but seriously, how cool would it be if she were potty trained at 18 months?

In other news, Ed went on a sales call at Bob Evan’s today, and when he asked to speak to the manager, out came my ex-boyfriend. He’s the assistant manager. He and Ed were talking and the guy was like “I know you from somewhere…… Ed goes “yeah, I’m Sara G…’s husband. The guy paused and said, “So how are YOU doing”?

Jackass.

Not a whole lot else is new. I’m going home soon. I worked out really hard today, and I’m already sore. Ed is working in the AM so I can’t go tomorrow, which means I can sleep in a little bit. I had 2 late nights this weekend and was up early both days. I hate being old.

"Sunday"

Yes, it's Sunday. It's been a long weekend. I actually went out on Friday and on Saturday which 100% never happens.
Friday was my work christmas party. We have it at the end of January every year, probably because it's cheaper. I hung out with all the girls and guys that work for me all night and had a great time dancing the night away. I danced so much that I no longer feel bad about only making it to the gym 2 times this week. (The weather has been complete crap, especially at 5:00 am when I've been going.) Best part of the night.....I won a whole rack of booze! You get chinese auction tickets just for walking in the door, and I only put a few in that bag, but I won.
I ended up being up early with the kids yesterday morning because Ed left for work at 6:30 am...blech blech blech. i ended up parking them in fromt of the tv and dozing for a while, but we ended up having a nice day. We visited Ed's mom in the hospital and had lunch in their cafeteria (Ed loves cafeteria food). Then last night, FIL watched th kids and Ed and I went to dinner and saw "Smokin' Aces", which was good. Another late night though; we were in bed at 1:30 am.
So, I was up early again this morning, because God-forbid the kids sleep any later than 7, even after they've been up late, but whatever. Ed and Eddie are at the train show now, and Cate is taking her nap. I too should be napping, but I'm too coffee'd up.
Work completely sucked last week and I'm not looking forward to going back. A lot of issues, nothing I'm up for talikng about right now; It's just all too stressful. The mandatory overtime was cancelled though, so that's a plus. It's an extra plus for me, since I don't even get paid for it, being salaried and all.
I don't know, I feel like I've been on a roller coaster these last few weeks. I haven't scheduled any vacation time yet this year, so maybe I'll do that soon.
Ok, back to work before the girl wakes up.

Is this not the cutest thing ever? My Dad sent me some pictures from Eddie's birthday.

Ok, I promised a happy entry for today.

Last week at daycare, they told me that Caitlyn would start visiting the 18-month to 2-years room this week because she is ready. She speaks more than an average 18-month-old etc. When I dropped her off this morning, her teacher told me that today would be the day, and to drop her off next door.

Although Eddie is in the 2-3-year old room, his class begins their day with the younger kids until more teachers arrive, so I got to drop them both off in the same room. If you could have seen how excited Eddie was to have his sister in there with him you'd have choked up. I definitely did.

He put his arm around her when she got a little bit uncomfortable, being in an unfamiliar room.

"You wanna have some breakfast with me Cate?" he asked her, and pulled out a chair for her and then himself.

"EAT!" she yelled and sat down with him. She was a big girl eating at the table, rather than in a high chair. She was a big girl eating with her big brother.

I got to watch Eddie be a proud big brother and a concerned big brother today.

I am a proud Mommy today.

I have to tell you honestly, my kids are driving me crazy. I mean 100% insane. If it’s not one it’s the other, but usually they team up.

Caitlyn has been a walking temper tantrum since we were at the dr. on Tuesday. I don’t know if she’s still feeling ill from the shot (she had the chicken pox one, and I know that one can get sore), or if it’s the molars, or what. If she’s not screaming “No! Mine!” and snatching something from you in a fit of rage, she’s crying hysterically “Wa Wa Mommy” (I want Mommy, which is the phrase Eddie uses every time he cries) with gigantic crocodile tears—like the world is ending. I think I could take it if something was really wrong, but ridiculous things set her off—dropping her juice cup, me breaking a cookie in half rather than giving her a whole, her blanket being on the love seat (where she can actually get it), or not being able to brush her own teeth. She’s taking me over the edge.

And then there’s her brother……

Eddie is good all day at day care. I hear about how great he is every day, great listener, great eater, very happy. He changes 100% as soon as I walk in to his room to pick him up for the day. He refuses to put his coat on, pulls his shoes off, jumps up on the table, spills out bins of toys…you name it. I’ll admit that some days he’ll give me a hug first, but then it’s always the same. I end up having to yell at him or threaten him before we even go over to get Caitlyn. Yesterday, he ran out of daycare in to the Business Park, and right out the door all the way to the car. What am I supposed to do? I had to carry Caitlyn and run after him like a crazy person. So I ask him ”do you like it when Mommy is mad? Do you like it when Mommy hollers at you?” The answer to both is no. I’ll admit, once we get home he’s good, and happy. Shows me his good manners. Everything is good until bedtime and then the shit hits the fan. He’s up and out of bed, and needs water and this and that and everything under the sun. Needs to sit on the couch for a few minutes. He’s never asleep before 9:00 and usually it’s even 9:30.

I don’t know. I’m writing this and I hate how it sounds. I have the 2 greatest kids on the planet, not a couple of hellions. I guess I just wish that the evening was sunshine and roses, you know, we snuggle on the couch and have a snack and laugh and sing. I guess it doesn’t work that way. I know it will be better, that this is just a certain block of time in their childhood, and that we definitely have more good times than bad, but right now it’s never-ending.

I also want to mention that going to the dr. on Tuesday made Eddie so nervous that he pooped 2 times while we were waiting, and then threw up all over the exam table while the dr. examined him. Who knew he had a nervous stomach?

Ok, I promise to share happy stories tomorrow. Tonight will be a good night.

Here’s something I don’t even believe- I have been to the gym 3 times this week. !! 3 TIMES !! I’ve actually gotten up and have gone at 5:30 AM, right when they open. This way, I’m not sacrificing my time with the kids in the evening, since they’re still sleeping. The funny thing is, I actually like it. I’m not just showing up, doing a few things, and then leaving like I did in the past. It’s like I actually have something that is mine-my own piece of time. This is going to be good.

In other news, Eddie’s 3rd birthday was Sunday. Where the time has gone I don’t know, because I swear he was just my 10lb 2oz roly poly newborn. Any now, he’s this three plus foot tall walking, conversation holding person. His obsession lately has been the school bus, and what’s going to happen when he goes to “big boy school”. (This of course is 2.5 years away) “And the bus will come to my house, and I will get one it then the bus driver will take me to the big boy school and then I will walk in to school and then later I will get back on the bus and the bus driver will take me home and then I get to go back tomorrow. Right Mommy? Riiiiight??” He makes my head spin. He’s also watched the same Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode twice a day every day for the past 2 weeks. He thinks it hysterical because it’s called “Goofy on Mars” and he purposely says “Goofy on Yarjs” and laughs hysterically when we correct him. He’s a weird kid.

Caitlyn is nearing 18 months old and has actually been in her terrible 2’s since she turned one. If you even look at her the wrong way, she loses it. She wants what she wants, when she wants it and you’d better not get in her way. When she does get her way, she is the sweetest happiest little girl you could ever imagine. She talks as well as Eddie did at her age and loves to sing and dance, play with her tea set, jump in Eddie’s bed (which she can now climb in and out of by herself) and zoom Eddie’s cars. Unfortunately though, she did have a small bout of the barfing flu yesterday, but was fine today. I knew she was sick when she sat still and actually let me hold her. It’s a rare occurrence, let me tell you. So, she threw up once in her crib, and then slept for the rest of the night with no issues. She was absolutely fine this morning, thank goodness. I was told yesterday that they plan on moving her in to the toddler room at daycare next month, since she is so verbal and already eats with a spoon. I know that she’s smart, but she’s just so little still. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Not a whole lot more to report today. I’m starving, so I’m going to eat my Lean Cuisine and get back to work. I’m hoping to post Christmas and birthday pictures this weekend, as well as pictures of our trip to the children’s museum on New Years Day.

Way late Halloween Photos of Crazy Buzz Lightyear and a very sad giraffe.

Caitlyn thought it would be a great idea to stand up in her crib and shriek at the top of her lungs at 3:30 this morning. She found it even more amusing to wake the entire house up. What I heard was the glass breaking screech followed by an almost identical one from Eddie. I had just fallen back to sleep as Ed got home around 2:30 from work.

I ran in to their room like a crazy person. "Mommay!!" Caitlyn is screaming. "Get meeeeeee out" Eddie is saying. I got Eddie out and plopped him in bed next to Ed. He cries for me for a minute, but Ed managed to calm him down. Caitlyn is still screaming. "Screw it" I thought, and went in to the kitchen and made a bottle. What a horrible lazy mom I am, I know. She shrieked like a banshee the entire time I was out there. As I walked back in to her room, she laid down go back to sleep. When she saw me again, the screaming started back up. She took the bottle though and was quiet until 6:00.

I went back in to my own room to retrieve Eddie. Ed tells me that we need a towel. What??? Eddie has peed out the side of his diaper making a huge pee puddle on my bed. Glorious. Cleaned him up and cleaned the bed up. Got him back in bed by 3:45.

When my alarm went off at 5:42 it felt like I hadn't slept at all. I'm really glad today is Friday.

On a recent particularly tiring day (as if any one of my days is not tiring...) I finally got Eddie in to bed around 9:30.

He carried on a bit...

"I don't feeeeeeeel good. I have to sleep in yoooooouuuur bed"

"I'm not ready to go to bed yet", I say, "I have some work to do"

He becomes more insistent, and I begin to lose patience. I bargain with him.

"You stay in here until I'm done working, and if you're still awake, you can come in Mommy's bed"

He agrees, but only after I promise to come back and check on him in a few minutes and give him a football to play with.

I putter in the kitchen, feeding the cats and putting dinner away. I wait a few more minutes and go in to check. He's still awake, of course and asks "Are you workin' in the kitchen?" We talked for a few minutes, and I told him I'd be back after I was done with my work.

I sat down on the couch and settled in to my work which consisted of watching Seinfeld and paging through a magazine. He played quietly in bed for what seemed like hours. Finally, he became quiet, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I waited a few more minutes, shut down the house, and headed to bed myself.

As I passed his room, he stirred. I stepped in to check on him and he rolled over and looked right at me. His face, round and pale as the moon, and his sparkling blue eyes shone up at me. He held his football up, smiled and in his so cute, so sleepy voice said "wanna play catch Mommy?" He tossed the ball up, grabbed it, and rolled over back to sleep.

I don't know what it was, but in that moment my heart swelled. "God, I love this kid", I thought. Minutes ago, I had been irritated and just wanted "me" time, and now, I just wanted to scoop him up and hold him forever; wanted him to be just this age forever.

I stayed in his room and watched him sleep for a few minutes, and then finally went to bed.

How lucky am I to have two wonderful, sweet, and healthy kids? I take it for granted so often, and lose my patience and get nasty. Moments like that one can be so humbling. It caused me to take a step back. I pray for the presence of mind to step back before reacting negatively. I pray for patience. Most of all, I pray that Eddie and Caitlyn remain exactly as they are today....a prayer I know is useless...but I still pray.

Funny...

It’s funny, this job; the job of raising a family. I don’t mean funny/weird, I really mean funny. We went to The Taste of Buffalo last weekend and before we left, I was telling Eddie where we were going. “We go to Taste of Buffalo Mommy?” Yep! “We gonna eat the buffalo Mommy?” No, we’re not eating buffalo. “We just lick them?” I nearly died laughing, and have been telling the story constantly since then. The way that his mind works amazes me. I just love his thought process. I’m not sure what we ever did for entertainment before we had kids, but I am more entertained now than I’ve ever been in my life.

Good news- Eddie has gone on the potty 5 whole times now!! We’re very successful if we put him on right before his bath while the water is running. Two times ago, he thought he was just ‘tooting’ and actually pooped. He was so excited to see his ‘toots’ in the potty. There was no explaining to him that even though he thought he was just tooting that poop came out. Now he thinks he gets a sticker if he farts while sitting on the toilet.

Caitlyn is just being Caitlyn. When we put her in the pool outside, her main goal is to get out and power-crawl down the driveway. There seems to be some sort of game that I’m unaware of, where you stuff as many driveway stones in your mouth as you can in as little time as possible, while a frantic Mommy runs after you. I wonder if she learned it at daycare. She still refuses to walk-crawling is just faster. Her favorite word is still “EDDIE!!” Oh, and still with only 2 teeth, she is boycotting all forms of baby food. I have my work cut out for me with this one.

There isn’t a whole lot more going on. It seems like the summer is almost over without ever really beginning. Before we know it, we’ll be in winter coats and hats. Time sure does fly!

P.S. Here is a picture of Ed and me from my high school reunion. I can't believe it's been 10 years!!!