The 4th

It was rainy and horrible here on the 4th, so thank God we had the sense to check the weather and find fireworks on the 3rd. We picked a good show (despite being kind of in the ghetto) and we were pleased that Eddie wasn't terrified this year. Caitlyn, though not hysterical, was not thrilled with all of the noise.





We spent the 4th setting up our fish tank and getting the fish accustomed to their new home. We got 7 fish, 2 for Caitlyn and 5 for Eddie. Caitlyn named hers One and Two and Eddie named 3 of his Santa, Grandpa and Daddy. That left the 2 black molly fish to be named, so we called them Sheeba, after our dead dog, and Molly for obvious reasons.

I was off of work yesterday and I took the kids to daycare and came home and slept until after noon. I can't eve remember the last time I slept so late. After lunch, I did some laundry and cleaned up a bit. I'm off again today, and Ed and I are going to The Cheesecake Factory for lunch after a while. I always get the same meal when we go, Herb Crusted Salmon with Asparagus and Smashed Potatoes, then I change up the cheesecake I order. Last time I got lemon raspberry which was to die for. The time before that, Tira Misu (I have no idea how to spell that). I'll keep you updated as to what I get today.

My first Children's Place order arrived yesterday, and the crabby shirt is all I wanted and more. One of the tanks I got for Eddie (I ordered him all XS-4 rather than 4T with the hope that he could wear them next year too) was super huge, but the other 2 will be perfect. The crinkle skirts for Caitlyn are supercute but to keep them crinkled, you have to twist them up, tie them in a not and rubber band them after you wash them...which is probably too much maintenance for me. I'm still waiting on my second order which includes some shorts and a hat for Eddie, then 2 more shirts ad shorts plus sunglasses for Cait. I'm getting nervous because the website doesn't show that it's shipped yet.

I need to end this because I left my glasses downstairs and I can't see anything. I'm thinking of getting a new cell phone today, but we'll see how that goes. I'm eligible for a free one, but don't want to sign a contract. I don't know.

Muffins

I was totally going to make Sarah'scookies tonight, but when I came home to 5 over-ripe bananas, I decided on muffins instead.

Yes, banana muffins it was.




They were good, too.

Rock City

Last night was such a gorgeous night; cool and clear with a perfect breeze. It reminded me so much of the mountain air when we were in New Hampshire for our honeymoon, that I was taken aback for a few minutes. My fondest memory of our time there was swimming in our resort’s glorious heated outdoor pool in the moonlight and the crisp mountain air. It was September and while during the day it was about 70 degrees, the evenings were in the upper 40s. The entire trip was amazing, but when I start thinking about it, the nights are the first thing to come to mind.

We’ll have been married for 5 years this coming September, and as it happens, we’ll be going back to The White Mountains of New Hampshire. I’m so excited about it that I can hardly contain myself. While our original plan was to go to Maine to visit our friend Melissa, we’ve slowly been migrating toward taking the kids to do the things we enjoyed when we were there. We may go to Maine for a day, but the deals in NH that time of year, 1 week before their peak fall foliage season begins are phenomenal. I don’t know how I’ll make it through the next 2 months because I seriously just want to go right now.

We happened to have an amazing time on Saturday. The rock formations were just gorgeous and it was a beautiful (if not a little bit cool) sunny day. The path was just a tiny bit treacherous, with some deep crevices and a few cliffs, but we kept a good hold of the kids, and they were just beside themselves with all of the rocks and caves…..and they had to sit on every bench we came across.








We ate our picnic lunch and went through the store before leaving, and then stopped in Ellicottville where they had a teeny tiny craft show on the way home. We ended up being home by about 3:30 and grilled some pork and were all in bed early which was so needed after the long day we had.








The day’s only downside was coming home to find that we had received a letter from our insurance company stating that they would not be covering Ed’s tonsillectomy because it was not deemed to be medically necessary. You know, like he just got up one day and said “I’d sure like t have my tonsils out. What the hell. This is the same insurance company who denied his going to an ambulatory care center when his tonsils had swelled so large that he couldn’t breathe. You know, it probably wasn’t important, and he probably didn’t need to have them out. All that I know is that this really sucks. We have to go through an appeal process and if they don’t pay it….I don’t know what we’ll do.

Anyhoo….

Ed got up early yesterday to go to work, and at about 5:30AM Eddie came to let me know that he’d peed in his bed. I changed him and he crawled in bed with me, and we slept in until 8:30!! It was great to sleep in, but ended up being just about the only great thing of the day. The kids were maniacs. I don’t know what got in to them. They were just absolutely crazy, I took them for haircuts, we went to the grocery store, and I don’t even know…they were just very high maintenance. And my saint of a husband, upon coming home and seeing me frazzled, sent me to Starbucks to catch a few minutes by myself. Wonderful man. (The catch was that I had to stop and by a thermometer for our fridge, which was still acting up but I didn’t really care. Incidentally, our freezer was at 28 degrees, not nearly cold enough, and the fridge was at 55 degrees…..so we ended up putting what we could in a cooler and the rest in the fridge in the garage and completely defrosting the whole thing. As of this morning it was working great, fridge at 40 degrees and freezer at -10 degrees. Oh, and by the way [#2] you know how I was paranoid about the downstairs freezer…..it ended up being open when I went down there yesterday. Can you even believe it!! All of my freaking out wasn’t for nothing!!)

Ed’s dad ended up taking the kids out for a while last night too, so I was able to straighten up and cook dinner in peace. I normally make my own garlic bread, but I happened to buy Pepperidge Farm’s roasted garlic premium garlic bread and let me tell you it was TO.DIE.FOR. Yummy Yummy.

This has become an extraordinarily long entry, so I’ll end here. Work is super busy and even though I haven’t officially taken a lunch break there is much to be done.

~Sigh~

For the record

I think that it really sucks that the season finale of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip was also the series finale.

People need to start watching the good stuff so it doesn't get canceled.

Ok, well thanks to this:




And some retail therapy suggested by Swistle, my day ended up being much better yesterday. Any time I can spend $22.43 and get 2 shirts, 2 skirts and a bathing suit for Cait plus 3 muscle shirts for Eddie is a great day. That averages out to $2.49 per item!!!

Our fridge is being crazy though and it’s kind of making me crazy. I’m pretty sure that the problem is actually our freezer, which somehow has this solid wall of ice on the interior back wall, and while the previously frozen items are still frozen all of my fudgecicles were liquefied and my ground beef was spongy. So I spent an hour last night hauling food from upstairs to my basement freezer. I hope that Ed has a chance to look at it today. This all makes me very uncomfortable, having all of my eggs in one basket, or, er, having all of my meat in one freezer. I kept going downstairs last night to make sure that the freezer door wasn’t left open or something. I’m so paranoid that I’m going to lose all of my food. Very OCD, I know.

Today started out really crappy when I spilled my iced coffee all over me. It could have been worse though, could have been hot. Then I had some AWESOME chicken fingers for lunch…so it’s all good. Plus it’s Friday……

We are still very much looking forward to our picnic tomorrow. I’ll be sure to take tons of pictures.

Lick the Buffalo

Is it ever acceptable to drink at work? If it wasn't before, I think today might be the day.

Mojitos anyone???

If it weren't for Swistle, I don't think I would have made it past noon.


Except now I really want some cookie dough.


At least I can laugh about the customer who called me a scumbag piece of shit.


But I still really hate my job today.


I am actually really excited about going to this glacial park that's about 2 hours away on Saturday. We're packing a picnic and heading out early. It's supposed to be a really cool place, where you can climb on the rocks. There's a mile long trail through the glacial shelf (or something like that). Eddie is really excited and keeps asking me if we're going on our picnic today. Yesterday, after school, he said to me "I have a great idea about our picnic Mommy.."

"What is it?"

"Maybe we can have our picnic on the rocks instead of at a picnic table!!"

"That sounds like a great idea. We'll have to check it out!"

It amazes me that he is such a different kid than he was at this time last year. Last year, when we told him we were going to "The Taste of Buffalo", he looked at me confused and said "Will we eat the buffalo??" He thought about it for a long time after I told him that we wouldn't be eating buffalo. "Will we just lick them?", he asked.

And somehow, remembering that, my day just got better.

2 in 2

Cait bit her friend Brianna. Not once, but twice, first on Monday, and then again yesterday. I guess it was a sharing issue.

So I spoke with the director a bit yesterday and told her that I’m totally not playing the “not my kid…” card but this is not something that is ordinary for Caitlyn, so I’d like to understand the situation a little bit better. She has never bitten her brother, or anyone at home. She’s an aggressive child, yes-she will hit pinch or kick you in a minute, but she is not a biter. So did Brianna possibly do something to provoke her? Did she maybe yank a toy out of her hand? Nobody knew. They caught it just after it happened, when Brianna screamed. Brianna and Cait are the best of friends, so something must have gotten out of control---but nobody knows.

Maybe I’m missing something, but shouldn’t all eyes be on the two-year-olds? I’m just throwing it out there….

Ed and I don’t treat our kids like babies, and by this I mean that even in their 2 and 3-ness, we try and have rational discussions with them. So I talked with Cait on the way home about biting and how we tell a teacher if something is wrong, and how we have to use our words, rather than biting our friends. At the end I asked her “Why did you bite Brianna?” And she told me “Nana throw sand”.

I believe her.

And I’ll be having a conversation with her teacher when I pick her up this afternoon because while biting is severely unacceptable, throwing sand is also unacceptable. These girls need to be watched more carefully. When I pay $352 a week to send my kids to the best daycare around, I want answers. I want a detailed accounting of what occurred.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask.

Something that I struggle with in my work life is how to change a mindset; how to embrace change. How do I inspire my team to go in the new direction The Bank is taking? Why can’t they, like me, recognize the need for change and make valiant efforts to do so?

In thinking about it today, I started thinking about myself. Why can I do this at work—recognize the need for change and then just do it, because it needs to be done—but not in my personal life? I’ve read in lots of different places that it takes one month to form a new habit, or to break an old one. A month is a lot of time. How can I do something for a month when I can’t even make it through a day?

Maybe I’m trying to do too much. This month alone I’ve gotten my house in shape, thrown things out, organized, kept up on being tidy. I’ve dusted and scrubbed my floors; I’ve even cleaned my windows. I’ve also started getting my butt out of bed earlier so that I can get to work by 8:00--giving me a full extra hour with the kids in the evening. This is a huge life change, and it’s been two great weeks. I feel proud and accomplished.

Somehow though, I want more, and I don’t think I have the strength to get there.

This is about so much more than the housework.

This is about me.

I need to change me.

July is a new month……and hopefully a new start for me.

And the week ends on a happy note....

I bought a case of Vanilla Coke at Wegman's today.

Oh happy day!

GAAAH. That’s the only word coming to mind right now.

So much I want to say……like the people at work are really pissing me off. And I wanted to say something about how I’ve been blogging for 7 years now, and I thought that I might copy my very first post here, but when I read it……I was an idiot when I was 22. I’m surprised people read what I wrote then; there’s no way they’d want to read it now. And about how after a day long sob fest about how he doesn’t want to go see Robosaurus anymore—we already bought the tickets, Eddie revealed that it was because of the commercial during the super bowl where Robosaurus’ head fell off and also, he eats cars, and might Robosaurus eat his race car bed??? And I don’t know, the fact that I might like to have another baby which is the most insane thing that could ever pop in to my head…hello I have a 2 year old and a 3 year old- but it is all I can think about right now. Plus the fact that I need to get to Old Navy to buy 4th of July shirts before they’re sold out, and somehow I volunteered to work the Saturday of Labor Day weekend which kind of screws my 3-day weekend.

There’s just too much going on, so I offer you this small snapshot of my brain, confusing and mangled, making no sense at all, tired and over processing. No doubt the result of a stressful week.

I’m hoping that tonight, after the kids go to bed, I’ll have some time to sort out my thoughts. Based on the fact that Eddie refuses to go to bed, I’m not holding my breath.

Cay-eeeeer

So they guy that’s doing my training totally reminds me of my 3-year-old. Anytime he asks a question, he ends it with “yes or no”, which is exactly what Eddie is in to right now.

“Mommy, do you love me? Yes or no?”

He likes it when I say no, and then he pouts. “That’s not very nice…”

I actually wanted to write about Caitlyn today, who has made leaps and bounds in her verbal skills over the last few weeks. She went from 2 word statements to 3 and four word sentences and stringing thoughts together in what seems like overnight. You can actually carry on a conversation with her and it’s quite hysterical. This of course is a vehicle for her to express her very opinionated self, and while indeed funny, can be quite frustrating.

Over the weekend when I was cleaning my bedroom closet, I pulled out the fish tank we bought and put it in the living room. At one point, Ed caught her trying to climb up on the box. Panicking, because the tank is made of glass, he yelled “HEY!!” and she just lost it. She ran to me crying.

“Mommy…..daddy hollered at me….” (hollered sounds like hah-yerd and is adorable) then she looks at Ed. “No Holler ME DADDY!!!!” this, of course is shrieked.

The she told me yesterday “Daddy hollered at me; he cay-eeer me” I couldn’t figure it out. ”He carried you?”

“No Mommy. Daddy CAY-EEER me. Daddy holler?”

“Daddy what????”

“CAY-EEEERR MOMMY!!!!!”

“he scared you??”

I swear that if she knew how to roll her eyes she would have here. “Yeah Mommy.” She toddled away laughing hysterically and talking to her self. “Daddy scared me, daddy hollered at me”

She is tough in her almost two-ness.

And I’m sure there is more to come.

Sleeeeepy

I know I say this a lot, but I am just so darn tired.

We spent Father’s Day weekend putting a new floor in to our kitchen (well Ed did the floor and I cleaned out our whole bedroom and closet….I threw everything out because I’m sick of dealing with it). This was not planned at all, completely spur of the moment. Since then I’ve been hell bent on keeping the kitchen clean and uncluttered. I spent last night doing the dishes that wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher on Sunday as well as yesterday’s dishes, trying really hard not to shoot my father-in-law the evil eye for not helping. (Like what is wrong with you anyway, so what if you have pneumonia and are on OXYGEN….you could still do the dishes…..really, he can’t. He can barely go up and down his stairs. So I held in my selfish side, and sucked it up and did it. ) At least we had a ton of left over pulled pork from Sunday for dinner, so I didn’t cook. (It was even better on day 2)

I used to send the kids’ dinner to school with them since we don’t get home until 6:15 on most days, but it’s gotten to the point where they want to play and they’re not eating it, so I’m wasting food, so I decided to start feeding them at home. It’s working out well so far, but I felt like I was in a rush all last night. They had to eat, wanted to play in the sprinkler (woohoo no baths….), wanted to watch Dora and have a snack (I made home made chocolate chip cookies), and needed to go to bed. Plus I had to clean up the kitchen as well as the living room because Ed is supposed to clean our carpets today, and then I wanted to get everything ready last night for this morning so I could be to work for this crazy 4 day training that goes from 8 to fricken 5 every day….(I got to work at 7:38 this morning, a full hour and a half earlier than I normally get here….yeah the kids loved that). Of course Eddie wouldn’t go to sleep last night, and then both kids were up at 5:45 am (Cait was also up at 1:00 AM). At least I set the coffee pot so I could dump coffee down my throat as soon as I woke up.

So yeah, I’m tired. And I’m hoping it will rain so that I don’t have to take the kids outside tonight, and hoping that the carpets are actually done when I get home. And that nobody has used any dishes.





And that the kids will sleep tonight.

Ugh. Cait was up throwing up again last night. I can’t put my finger on what could be causing it, because it happened last year around this time too, where she was fine, and then was up in the middle of the night throwing up once or twice a week for like 3 weeks in a row. I’ve decided that it’s either the heat; maybe it doesn’t agree with her, or it’s the teething—she’s getting molars. Or perhaps it’s a combo of both. Whatever it is, I do know that cleaning broccoli chunks off of my floor in the middle of the night is sure not fun(hey, at least she eats broccoli). She is getting quite good at leaning over the toilet though. She even stops when she’s not sick and spits in there….

During all of this Eddie slept just fine, but once Cait and I settled in on the couch, he was up crying, telling me he needed his kitty.

“What kitty?”, I asked.

“Sebastian.” He’s sobbing

“What do you mean honey?”

“Sebastian is in the street”, he cried, “He’s going to get runned over.”




This may have been his first bad dream. When I showed him that Sebastian was lying right on the living room floor, he was very confused. He kept asking me “but why??”. Even this morning he was asking about him being outside in the street.

Caitlyn was fine this morning, thank goodness. We’ll have to see how tonight goes.

My FIL has been in the hospital with pneumonia since Tuesday. It crept up on him all of the sudden and out of nowhere he couldn’t breathe. Ed stopped home on Tuesday and found him slumped in his chair, pale and clammy and had to rush him to the ER. At first they thought it was heart failure, but after the tests, they determined it was pneumonia. He should be home tomorrow, but it’s going to take him a while to get better.

And finally….the wedding was Saturday and it was a wonderful day. Beautiful weather and everyone had a great time. Here are a few pictures.



Matt and Sarah


Me


Ed and Me

100 Facts About ME

1. I met my husband on the school bus when I was in 7th grade.
2. I hated his guts.
3. I complained to him about my boyfriend who was a jerk for most of my sophomore year in high school.
4. He and I began dating that summer.
5. Even though we were very young, we kind of knew we were it for each other.
6. This August will mark 12 years of togetherness for us.
7. I have loved to sing for my entire life.
8. I consider myself to be quite good.
9. It kills me that I’m not doing anything musical right now.
10. I pretended to wear glasses in 7th grade and bought a fake pair at Claire’s
11. Until Lenny Carpenter tripped me and stomped on them because he thought it was funny.
12. My 7th grade boyfriend told me he loved me in front of my father.
13. It was maybe the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me.
14. Until while in the mall one day my dad told Bobby Stutz that while we looked a lot alike, my moustache was thicker.
15. I have had the same best friend since I was 11 years old.
16. I consider her my sister.
17. I don’t actually have a sister.
18. But I always wanted one.
19. I have 2 great brothers.
20. As families go, mine actually gets along very well.
21. I always knew that I wanted to have children.
22. My kids are by far the greatest people in the world.
23. It never occurred to me that it would be a challenge to be a mom.
24. It’s the good kind of challenge though.
25. I don’t think before I speak.
26. I have a tendency to get in trouble.
27. I have a very dry sense of humor.
28. This is the very best gift my father could have given me.
29. I get told all the time that I am just like my father.
30. This for the most part is a compliment.
31. I wish that I wasn’t so passive though.
32. My brother Matt and I can have an entire conversation quoting obscure TV and Movie lines.
33. And it makes total sense
34. And never gets old.
35. I am a hardcore coffee drinker.
36. And I would fight you for a Donut
37. ----or anything sweet for that matter.
38. I am very passionate about cake
39. I have no idea how to apply make up
40. or do anything with my hair
41. I can’t paint my fingernails.
42. I love to bowl.
43. I’m decent at it.
44. I was the first of any of my girlfriends to have a baby.
45. I was also the second of any of my girlfriends to have a baby.
46. I craved and consumed Twinkies and root beer for my entire first pregnancy.
47. I’m convinced that this is what makes Eddie a sweet-a-holic.
48. I ate fruits and veggies my entire second pregnancy.
49. I also consumed a lot of caffeine.
50. I’m convinced this is why Caitlyn loves fruits and veggies, and has a spastic tendency.
51. I had mixed feelings about going back to work after I had kids.
52. I know now that I don’t have it in me to be a stay at home mom.
53. I’m actually kind of important at work.
54. I spend too much time on the computer.
55. I am addicted to MySpace.
56. My favorite color is pink.
57. But it was green before I had a little girl to enjoy it with.
58. I love playing at the park with my kids.
59. I go down all of the slides.
60. I get paranoid about weird crap all the time.
61. Like- did I forget to drop one of the kids off at school today?
62. Or what if a bat squeezes in that teeny tiny hole in my screen and gives me rabies.
63. Or what if I already have rabies and don’t know it.
64. I could be a ticking time bomb.
65. My desk at work is covered with pictures of my kids as well as their artwork.
66. I can often be found staring at them and smiling.
67. I had a really hard time bonding with Caitlyn after she was born because she was in the NICU away from me.
68. I wouldn’t even get up to go feed her while we were in the hospital.
69. I spent 3 days alone with her in the hospital when she was one month old because they thought she had meningitis.
70. As much as it sucked, we finally got our time together.
71. I believe that God works in mysterious ways.
72. I worry about Caitlyn a lot more than I do about Eddie.
73. But I definitely favor Eddie when it comes to mommy time.
74. I favor both of my children over my husband.
75. This is something that causes conflict in my marriage.
76. I have a bit of a shoe problem.
77. I love to get pedicures.
78. I have a lot of grey hair.
79. This surprises me because neither of my parents went grey this early on.
80. I LOATHE it.
81. I have a really hard time keeping my house clean.
82. I have hated housework my entire life.
83. I would rather scrub a strange toilet with no gloves then fold laundry.
84. Especially socks and underwear.
85. I can’t sleep with socks on, even in the dead of winter.
86. I love going barefoot in the summer.
87. I tell everyone that my cats are “my first born”
88. I know this seems weird and I don’t really care.
89. I love Howard Stern and his show.
90. Guys I meet think this is really cool.
91. Girls think I’m weird.
92. Even as a child I got along better with guys than I did with girls.
93. I’m not thrilled about turning 29 in October.
94. I’m even less thrilled about being 30 next year.
95. But I can’t wait to PARTY.
96. It’s taken me 2 hours to do this list.
97. And yes, I’m at work.
98. If I ever had another daughter, I’d love to call her Olivia.
99. Because of my last name though, this would make me a cruel parent.
100. I have a hard time taking myself away from being Mommy and doing something just for me.

A Roller Coaster Ride

This is how it always starts for me.

I’m exhausted and more than a little bit irritable. Don’t even look at me the wrong way or I’m going to jump down your throat. I’m achy. I do erratic things like convince myself that I absolutely need a new bra for my brother’s wedding and what I have will just not do. I spend an entire lunch hour plus 15 minutes trying on no less than 75 bras and do not buy anything, convinced that all undergarments are made for people who did not breast feed 2 children, and is it too much to ask to have some attractive cleavage in this very revealing dress rather than 2 smashed pancakes? I eat something extremely crazy for dinner, like 3 handfuls of garlic pumpernickel croutons and 2 English muffins with butter and jelly. I massacre one of the English muffins and put it back in the bag for someone else to eat. I dream overnight that I’m holding a pregnancy test with 2 lines on it, but how are there 2 lines when I’m just holding it and never peed on it? I nearly throw up in the morning when FIL empties a container of macaroni salad with tuna in to the garbage and the entire house (as far as I’m concerned anyway) smells like rotten fish. I gag uncontrollably and rush the kids out the door telling them that if I don’t get out of the house now I’ll puke. This is all very dramatic, punctuated with over the top gagging gestures.

I’ve calmed down now, and no, I’m not pregnant. This is PMS for me. Exciting, huh? And for whatever reason, and even though I know, every single month I wonder “could I be pregnant?”. Would I even want to be pregnant if I were? Then another bought of freaking out ensues and I’m a lunatic again.

....and I have such a craving for chicken wings right now

This will all resolve itself this weekend with the arrival of AF early next week. It always does.

But isn’t the rollercoaster a fun ride?

Love

I love summer. I love everything about it. The heat, even the mugginess (OK, maybe not the bugs). I just love the warm weather. Even the smells, especially the way the kids smell with their hair warm from the sun, and their sunscreen melting off of them....

I sat with Caitlyn for a while last Monday, at our Memorial Day picnic, gliding on the squeaky yellow bench swing, just breathing in her warm sunscreeny smell. I could have sat there for hours. The kids are sleeping downstairs now, and their room is warm. I can still smell the pool water on them mingled with their sunscreen and it's just heavenly.




It's close to 90 degrees today as it was yesterday and is very humid. There were supposed to be thunderstorms all weekend, but it has been completely dry.




The kids woke up around 8:30 this morning and I treated them to Tim Horton's for breakfast. it was a special treat because we went inside and ate rather than going through the drive through. It didn't go so well....Caitlyn threw her plate on the floor in a fit of rage and it shattered in to a million pieces. Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us. It was horrendous. From there we went to the grocery store and I ended up having everything I needed accomplished done before 10:30. We came home and filled the pool and spent a while in the yard before lunch and naps, and that leads me to now. I thought it was going to rain so I told Eddie we could go rent a movie after nap, and now it doesn't seem like it will rain at all.

Saturday

So, it’s Saturday and I’m working. We just started being open on Saturday’s and the managers rotate, so I end up working like every 8 weeks, but it’s a beautiful day today! I think I’d be stuck inside at home anyway because I was up all night with Caitlyn who was puking her guts out and had a 103.5 temp. Fun times! She was down to 99 when I left this morning, but now she’s back up at 104. Ed is giving her popsicles to try and hydrate her and she just had more Motrin. My poor poor baby.

The kids have had a great couple of days swimming in their new pool out back, which is complete with a whale shaped slide. The only thing is that they don’t like having the hose on to keep it wet, so we have to dump buckets of water down the slide so that it works. Matt came over last night to pick up his toothbrush and played with the kids for a while. Caitlyn, who normally despises him, was all over him laughing and giggling. I think she made his night. He also played shuffleboard with Eddie in the basement after Ed left, which made Eddie’s night.

And one week from today Matt will be married. I can’t believe it. It’s all very exciting.

I don’t think we have any plans tomorrow so I’ll be catching up on housework and whatnot. I think it’s supposed to thunder anyway.

I’m hoping that next week leads to some more profound entries, but right now I am just too tired to think. I’ll end with a picture I just found from Eddie’s b-day party in January, which totally captures his mischievous essence.

Back

So, I’m back. And obviously I lived. My trip was nice. Some great 10 hour work days in there, but being able to go back to the hotel and only worry about myself for 2 nights and 2 mornings was delightful. I was a bit disapointed that the kids didn’t want to speak to me on the phone and wasn’t very fond of Ed who asked how it could possible take me so long to get them ready in the morning since he got them right up and out the door, (I didn’t even say anything to him about it though because I was still enamoured with him for taking the kids and his dad out to dinner on Tuesday night so that I could pack and organize for the rest of the week in peace) but in all it was nice to get away.

And after an extremely busy weekend, I’m back at work plugging away and in complete disbelief that my brother’s wedding is in less than 2 weeks. It really came up fast. The fact that I haven’t had my dress altered yet is a tesatament to how quickly it came up.

I don’t know, I thought I had a lot to say but I’m at a loss. I suppose I’ll end here with the hopes of being inspired to write again later.

On Chaos

Yesterday I read This post over at Swistle’s, titled “Reasonable Requests”, and I started to think, “Wow, I’m Swistle’s husband…” Not literally, of course, but she described me in detail. Then all of the mom’s leaving comments. Yikes.

This is the thing about me. I can not for the life of me, ever keep my mind on one task. I’m cooking dinner, but maybe I should fold a basket of laundry while the water boils, and then Eddie has pooped and needs to be wiped, and Caitlyn needs a diaper. Then Ed asks could I possibly refill his iced tea glass. Then the pot of water boils over. It’s a vicious circle, and before I know it, yesterday’s folded laundry is crumpled in a basket, the dinner dishes are piling up in the kitchen, I’m trying to squeeze a bath or two in, the kids are going to bed late….again, I need to run the vacuum, and before I know it, the day is over.

I tell Ed all the time that I wish he could see everything that goes on inside my head. He might complain that I left my dinner plate on the couch, but I swear, it’s not because I’m lazy or had a poor upbringing. It’s because my mind jumps from task to task and I’m on to the next thing before one thought is complete. I might even see said plate as I’m passing by and make a mental note to pick it up on my way back to the kitchen, but I get so distracted that sometimes it doesn’t happen.

What is this? Some sort of adult onset of ADHD? I can’t be the only one who goes through this. How do I get to the point where I just pick up the plate?

A This & A That

Who knew that I would get old so quickly? I have prided myself on perfect vision my entire life, but over the last few months, I’ve noticed my computer screen becoming a little bit blurry after I’ve been at work for a while. Then it was hard to read the paper. Now my screen is constantly blurry. I sucked it up and went to the eye doctor today, and sure enough, I need glasses. Just for reading and computer work, but I need glasses. I think the dr. could sense that I was upset by this because he said, “Really, you have good vision, really you do! You have great distance vision! And very healthy eyes in general.” I’m sure that it’s all down hill from here and that I’ll need bifocals by the time I’m 35.

It was fun picking out frames though. I tried on a bunch and hated a lot, then liked a few until the girl found THE PERFECT FRAMES. I tried them on and loved them…..until I found out that after the $130 my insurance covers, they would still cost me $160. Not necessary for glasses I will only wear sporadically. So, I settled for a pair of plain brown frames that I didn’t have to pay anything for. I should have them next week.

Speaking of next week, I will be taking my very first ever plane ride on Wednesday morning. I’m terrified. I got an email this morning that said I was more likely to be killed by a donkey than to die in a plane crash, but I’m still scared. I’m sure I’ll be fine. Millions of people fly every day, but when you’ve never done something before….I don’t know, fear of the unknown? I’m sure that my plane won’t fall from the sky, and that if I am meant to die in a plane crash, it will happen whether or not I ever board a plane. I just wish that I could drive to NC.

Not much else is going on. Ed’s cousin, who has a son about 2 years older than Eddie and a daughter who is 3 dropped off a few bags of clothes for the kids the other day, and they were just the right sizes, some 4T tees and pants for Eddie and tons of size 24 month clothes for Cait. I had just gone through a bunch of Eddie’s old clothes to see what Caitlyn could possibly wear this summer, and these came at a good time. How is it that I spent $300 on summer clothes for them and it’s still not enough? I think we’re pretty well set now, but I have to remind myself to ask Ed’s cousin how she keeps her kid’s clothes so immaculate looking. You would never know that these have been worn before.




The weather is very grey and rainy today, and the kid’s moods matched. Caitlyn was insistent that she was coloring and painting this morning, just as we were walking out the door and she threw a huge temper tantrum and dragged Eddie right down with her. How does the almost 2-year-old convince the 3-year-old that it’s ok to paint and color when it’s time to leave? That girl, I’m telling you. She’s darn lucky I love her so much because she even walks with an attitude. On the way in to daycare this morning, with her hat off to the side, and her sunglasses on (though it was raining), her new sneakers and her walk with ‘tude, she was told “Wow, you’re going to be quite the sista when you get older.” This I know is true.

Mother's Day

I had such a great Mother’s Day.

It started at 5:30 AM with Eddie peeing the bed, but after that it was great. The kids slept until about 7:30, and I got up to get them settled and Ed let me go back to sleep. I had every intention of getting up by 8:30, but the next thing I knew it was 10:00. I went out in to the living room, and I heard Eddie and Caitlyn in FIL’s room, so I went to check things out. Eddie told me “Daddy went to get you breakfast! I’m going to help him cook it! And Cait can make the coffee!” I let them keep playing and I laid on the couch and watched TV for a while. Truthfully, my head was killing me from sleeping so long.

Ed was home soon with a big café mocha from Starbuck’s for me, and food that I wasn’t allowed to see from the grocery store (Food too? You had me at Starbucks!). Soon he had Caitlyn come in with a card for me, and then right after that, Eddie brought me a HUGE frosted pastry heart. I started to smell garlic and onions in the kitchen and I dove right in to this incredibly fattening pre-breakfast snack. Ed cooked me eggs like I like them (really runny), bacon, toast and wonderful hash browns with onions. It was so good; I could have eaten 6 eggs.

Caitlyn took a quick nap and before we knew it we were on our way to meet my parents at “A Day Out with Thomas”. We spent the day there just doing little things, and eating…..best thing I ate-a root beer float—mmmm. Caitlyn rode a horse and she was so darn cute. (Eddie refused) We nearly missed our train, but did get on in the end, had our ride and headed home.

Ed and I picked up a salad and garlic bread on the way home and we were in for the night by 7:00. It was a good dinner, even though Caitlyn ate all of the good stuff out of my salad and Eddie ate all of the garlic bread.

A perfect Mother’s Day indeed.

This Sunday I’ll be celebrating my fourth Mother’s Day. It is amazing how time flies. I’ve learned a lot over the last four years-things I would never have expected to learn before I was a mommy.

• There is nothing sweeter than your baby’s little face, even when it’s 4am and she wants to nurse, again. Or even when your baby boy is 3 ½ and has peed in his bed and cries and cries because you woke him up to change him.
• Regardless of what your “real job” is, being Mommy becomes your “real job” and the actual job you get paid for is just something you do on the side.
• Regardless of whatever you did in your pre-mommy life, being Mommy is what defines you now. It is what guides you in making any decision and it is the number one factor in who you are.
• You always feel like you could be a better mom, wish that you were a better mom, or wish that you did something differently, but your kids (at least when they’re as little as mine) think you’re the greatest.

There are countless little things, but these are the ones that stand out.

In Eddie’s preschool class this week, they have asked questions about what you do with your Mommy each day and have posted the children’s answers on the door. Some of Eddie’s:

What is the nickname your Mommy calls you? “Bushanaut” (which is a word he made up and calls us) “or Eddie Spaghetti”

What is your favorite food that your Mommy cooks you? “Pizza without the pepperoni.” Glad I’m such a great cook…..

Where is your favorite place to go with your Mommy? “Chuck E Cheeses” I read the question and thought maybe he’d say something brilliant, like the library (why would he say that when he’s never been to the library?), or at least grocery shopping, which he loves, or maybe to the park where we’ve been spending a lot of time. But no, Chuck E Cheeses, where he goes with Ed more often than me. One of the little girls said “church”, which impressed me. Eddie has been asking to come to church with Ed and me, but we don’t think he’s ready.

In Caitlyn’s case the highest form of flattery is that she says “I want Mommy” constantly. Even when I’m holding her. “I want my Mommy” and I say, “You’ve got me!” and she says it again until I say “I want my Catie!” and then she’s a happy girl. I’m excited to pick them up this afternoon and get the mother’s day gifts they made for me.

We have another busy weekend ahead of us. My brother and sister-in-law are graduating from Slippery Rock tomorrow so we are leaving at 7am to get there, and then we are spending Sunday with my parents at “A Day out with Thomas” where we actually ride on Thomas the Train. Exciting, huh?

Finally, I want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all of you wonderful moms out there. I hope your days are full of love and flowers and wonderful time spent with your children.

There's been this fun little MEME going around where you ask one of your readers to interview you, and ask you 5 questions. I asked my friend The Flying Mum to do this, and she obliged! Here are her questions and my very lengthy answers.



1. The year is 2032 and everyone is being relocated to Mars. You and Ed have your tickets for the Mars Shuttle and are packing to go, but due to limited cargo space, sentimental keepsakes must be limited to 3 items per child. Which 3 things would you pick to remind you of Caitlyn? Eddie?

Wow, I’m going to Mars! This is hard for me because everything is sentimental with them still being so young. For Caitlyn: her pink blanket, which I’m sure by the year 2032 will have all but disintegrated because she drags it around and sucks on it constantly, her pink Old Navy baseball hat that she loves to wear backwards, and her yellow giraffe that we bought her on her first vacation to Virginia Beach. For Eddie: The photo of him in the frame he made me for Mother’s Day last year, with the “fake” smile for Mommy grin, his blue fleecy blanket that he has slept with since birth, and his Spiderman sunglasses.

2. Is there any artistic piece (can be a picture, music, or film / book) that can instantly alter your mood either for the better, or worse?

I have 2. Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, which was the first piece of classical music I was ever exposed to. I get lost in the music. When I was a kid, I would picture myself conducting a huge orchestra performing this piece. To this day I can hear the entire symphony in my head.

The second is Handel’s Messiah. Handle’s use of music and harmony was phenomenal. It is my favorite thing to sing along with and pretend that I am a soprano, alto, tenor or bass singer as I choose. Plus I get strange looks when it is blasting from my car window.

3.You have mentioned that you've never been on a plane, but if you had unlimited finances and could pick one place to visit in the whole world, where would you go?

One place, Jeeze. Part of me wants to say New Zealand because I have some internet friends there, but really, I think I’d like to travel to Italy and see Rome, Venice and Tuscany. There is so much history and culture to be seen there.

4.When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up, and how does it compare with what you are currently doing?

This is a great question. What I do now does not compare at all to what I wanted to be as a child. As a very young child, I wanted to be EITHER a go-go dancer, or a bus driver. High aspirations, right? What a life of luxury to drive a bus in the morning and then strap on some knee high boots and a short dress and dance the night away……As an older child, middle and high school, I was sure that I would be teaching music. I took all of the music classes, voice lessons and piano (which I sucked at). Took the college courses, and then up and quit. I’m still not sure why—then I blamed it on working 3 jobs and not having the time it took. Today, I’m not so sure.

I do, however, use my voice in my work today. My main job is to manage a team of 16 associates who handle any mortgage related escalation/problem for the largest bank in the world. On the side, I record our automated system. Soooo, if you call my bank about your mortgage or home equity loan, it will be me you hear in our VRU.

5. Favorite color, what & why?

My favorite color really varies by day and mood. More often than not, it’s pink. Pink makes me happy, makes me feel girly. Reminds me of my baby girl. Other days it’s orange or yellow because those are Eddie’s favorite colors. Sometimes it’s green because that was my favorite color while I was growing up, and still other days it’s red because it reminds me of my wedding and the beautiful dresses and flowers. Today I have on green to celebrate this beautiful, 80 degree, spring day we’re having!!

THE VERY LAST NERVE

I think it's common for your husband to be the man who is on your very last nerve, but what about when it's your 3-year-old?

Eddie has decided that he is "the boss of Caitlyn", and dictates at her all day long. To be honest with you, I don't care what else he does, but I cannot handle him griping at her for one more second!!

"Caitlyn- we DO NOT tell Mommy no!" and then as if I'm not already aware of the situation...."Mooooomy....Cait said no-oh."

I could kill myself listening to this.

Here's what did it for me this morning:

Caitlyn opened the hall door and was holding on to the railing to go down.

Eddie: CAITLYN!! YOU DO NOT GO DOWN THOSE STAIRS WITHOUT A GROWNUP!!!
Moooooomy, Cait is going downstairs without you......

Me: Eddie, I see her

Eddie: grabs the door and slams it

Caitlyn: falls to the ground crying

Eddie: See Caitlyn? See what happens when you don't wait for a grownup?

Me: All of my hair falls out and I collapse in a heap on the floor.

I'm sure that this is common in any sort of sibling relationship, heck I'm sure it was common in my relationship with my brothers, but right now, it is truly on my very last nerve.

“Mommy I growed eyebrows!!!!” I heard this shrieked from Eddie’s bedroom last night. I took me a few seconds to realize what he was saying and by then he was running out of his room, fingers over eyebrows. “I growed them Mommy! Feel!!”

I tease him all the time because his eyebrows are so blonde you can’t see them. “Where are your eyebrows Eddie?” I guess he thought he didn’t really have any. Funny kid.

There isn’t a whole lot going on. I’ve been acquiring summer clothes for the kids and myself over the last week or so, and hope to make my final stop at Old Navy today. (This, of course, does not include the requisite shopping trips before I travel with work next month and before our planned summer vacation) I’m tying up loose ends at work since I am on vacation next week---WOOOOHOOOO!!! And don’t tell the bad mommy police, but Eddie and Caitlyn will be going to daycare Monday thru Wednesday while I’m off. I have to, um, clean. Seriously, I do, and Wednesday is Ed’s birthday. Why have a sitter in the evening when we can do lunch during the day-Casino buffet? Mmmmmmm. Also, Rosanne is having a purse party on Weds evening that I HAVE to go to.

Thursday and Friday we are going to the Indoor Water Park, Eddie’s potty training present, even though he’s been fully potty trained since December. We’re excited; it’s going to be a good time.

This coming Saturday we’re going to the Children’s museum with Marisa, George and Sophia so I’ll be sure to post pictures.

I guess there is a lot going on, huh?

I read Catherine Newman's Wondertime Article yesterday and immediately ordered this book from Amazon. It sounds really good and hopefully will help in easing the discomfort and I drop the kids off at daycare every day. Just the few excerpts online made me tear up a little bit. I’m a sap.

I was actually just commenting over at Catherine’s how being a mom puts everything in quite a different perspective. Things that would not have affected me before kids do so profoundly now.

Speaking of books, I just finished “Me and Emma” and the author escapes me right now, but it is about a little girl, Caroline and her little sister Emma who live with their imbalanced mother and severely abusive stepfather. The story is told in the voice of Caroline and is so incredible vivid that I had to put the book down several times because I was bawling uncontrollably. How he put chains around their necks and makes them eat dog food. How he molested Emma but not Caroline. It was incredibly heartbreaking. In the end it actually turns out that there is no Emma and that Caroline sort of made her little sister up as a way of coping with her daddy’s death and the abuse she endured. I sat for a long time last night, so profoundly affected by this book---this piece of fiction. I just don’t even know what to make of it.

I was telling my mother the other day that being a mom has turned me in to a complete chicken (I am taking my first plane ride EVER in a month and am freaking out a little bit) but it has also turned me in to a sensitive soul when it comes to children-real or fictional apparently. I can’t stop thinking about it even today, and I think it’s because even though this was a piece of fiction, there are kids out there who go through this and much worse every day.

I am absolutely beside myself.

I'll have to admit that my stomach lurched a little bit as I handed over my $300+ breast pump to Lisa and Chris on Saturday, but I'm comforted by the fact that they are trying to do the right thing for their baby girl. That's her up there, my brand new niece, Samantha, born to Ed's brother Chris, and his girlfriend Lisa, who are both 18 years old. Not the best of circumstances, but she is a beautiful baby. We saw them at the hospital on Wednesday, 2 days after she was born, and then they came over Saturday, to get the pump and hang out for a while. It was nice. Samantha slept almost the entire time they were here, and then woke up screaming as they were ready to leave. I really don't miss the baby days.

Here is my baby, by the way, last weekend before Lisa's shower.



We had a really great weekend. The weather was just beautiful and we got in a lot of time outside. I shopped for summer clothes for the kids yesterday, and today Eddie helped me clean and vacuum my car out. Both kids went grocery shopping with me, and were generally good all day. The Capri's Caitlyn has on here are a size 12months which made me freak out since I bought her all 24 months, but I think these must just run big since the 24month fit just fine. The 2T's on the other hand are huge. I need to have another baby shower so other people can do this for me. :)





While down stairs yesterday, I heard a crash hat happened to be Cait pulling out a bin of silverware and dumping it in the kitchen. Above it all I hear Eddie yell "WHAT THE HELL??" He's going to be the death of me. You may remember his previous fondness of spouting off "Dammit" left and right. Now, he trys to trick you. He'll act like he's going to curse, and then change it to "Aw....DAMAGE!" I really don't know where he gets this stuff. Cait is at the point of repeating every word we say, and is stringing 4/5 word sentences together. She told my father-in-law "NO NO BAD BOY!!" all day on Saturday and told me "NO, I don't want juice Mommy!" She's great with communicating what she wants and does not want, demanding little girl.

OK, I need to get to bed. I have a dentist appointment in the AM that I am not looking forward to.

Photos by Eddie

I let Eddie use the camera today and not surprisingly, I was his subject. Here are his photos in order---The first 2 are not the greatest, but the last two aren't so shabby!

EASTER

Easter was……well, it just was I suppose. An enjoyable day that began at 7am and ended at 10pm with nonstop candy and no naps. And all I can say is “It was.”

I mean it when I say the day started at 7:00 am. Luckily I got up at about 6:45 and put Eddie’s basket back under the table where I caught the cat licking all of the plastic before we went to bed on Saturday. Eddie could hardly contain himself as he waited at the gate for Ed to get out of bed. I distracted him by making him take his pull up off and go pee so that Ed could at least get dressed. As soon as the gate was down, he ran in to the living room to look for his basket.

We probably could have put it in the middle of the room and he wouldn’t have seen it. He’s horrible at looking for things. We told him to tell Cait to look near the play kitchen for her basket, and he immediately found it and got it down for her. She was pleased. The next 15 minutes felt like 15 hours. He was just walking around, looking in odd places. Ed and I asked questions like “What’s something it could be under??” And laughed as he looked under the couch with its generous half inch of room underneath. He did eventually find the basket under his table, and laughed hysterically as he pulled out the treats inside.

“WOOO HOO Spiderman BUBBLES!!!!! Is this fire truck made of CHOCOLATE?? A SPONGEBOB MAGAZINE???? Is this a cookie sucker on a stick??” He was enamored.

Caitlyn loved her Dora coloring book, but was more interested in the Chocolate Chip Cookie Bunny Sucker that I bought from work. The thing was as big as my hand and she devoured it in, oh, less than 10 min.





The kids combined all of their chocolate eggs in to one basket (ha, don’t put all your eggs in one basket….) and disappeared. They hid them all over their bedroom. Even after I went and collected them from the crevices of Eddie’s racecar bed, they were still coming out with eggs in their mouths. I’m not sure where they were, but I’m pretty sure they’re gone now.

Ed and I ate breakfast (the kids refused) and cleaned up the living room so he could clean the carpets. I got the kids ready for my mom’s house while he did that, and we were on the road by 11:30 and at my mom’s by noon. The candy consumption continued with Eddie devouring half a box of chocolate tools and whatever else he could get his hands on. Caitlyn peeled foiled eggs and popped them in her mouth like a pro. She at least ate some ham and potatoes but Eddie refused.




Lunch was great. My brothers were there, there was good food and good wine. Very enjoyable. I did debate with my mother over immigration issues and speaking English in America and having to press a button for English in an automated system. I argued that this is America and the land of opportunity. She argued that in America you should speak English. The greatest moment of the day was when she asked me if I wanted some “platczek” or coffee cake in Polish. I told her to speak English since we’re in America and we all had a really great laugh. Ed told me he was going to sleep with one eye open because I have some balls he was unaware of. It was really all in good fun though.




We left there to go home and cook dinner for Ed’s parents. Since he had cleaned the carpet, Ed decided to rearrange the furniture while I cooked, and hook up the digital cable. Somehow, he ended up breaking the TV, which is old to begin with, but we had to put the regular cable back on and now we have a horrible picture. Time for a new TV. Dinner was great though, my ham was clove-y and delicious and my German chocolate pie was also GREAT. Caitlyn had a sugar induced meltdown and I finally got Eddie to eat a roll and butter. We were in bed by 10.

Call Me Cake

I was in Eddie and Caitlyn’s room last night, covering Caitlyn one last time before bed. Eddie sat up and pretended to roll down the window on his race car bed. He proceeded to do a dead on impression of me:

“Hi- can I have a large coffee, black, please? And FOUR chocolate doughnuts?”

I don’t order chocolate doughnuts, that must have been a wish, but his impression was hysterical.

I feel bad because I’m constantly writing about how funny Eddie is and never have much to say about Cait. She really is fun at this age. I don’t know why, but I don’t remember Eddie being this fun at her age. Maybe it’s because I was 27 months pregnant with Caitlyn when he was 20 months old. Actually, I suppose she was born already when he was her age. Anyway, she really is fun. The only way I can get her to do anything is to tell her not to do it, or that I am going to do it first. Any time we arrive at a destination, regardless of where, she sings “ hone !!” which means, home. When she hands me something, she say “here Mommy”, but here sounds like “hee ooo” and the very best thing, other than her soft kisses, that she gives you first on the lips and then one on each cheek for good measure, is that one day last week I asked her what her name was. She was being silly, and instead of saying “Cait”, which is what she calls herself, she said “cake”. Eddie laughed hysterically and that made her laugh hysterically. Now, any time you ask her what her name is, she says “CAKE!” and laughs. Who knew that a 20-month-old could make jokes?

We’re looking forward to Easter although we’ll be busy between our parents. Busy is good though.

To anyone who reads this- I hope you have a wonderful Easter with your family!!

Take my advice. If you’re 20 and you get an offer to move in with your boyfriend’s father for only $220 a month, when you’re currently paying $380 in rent, don’t do it. You’ll find yourself owning the house in 8 years and he will now be living with you.

I really shouldn’t complain, because Ed’s dad is a tremendous help to me. I don’t know how I would get through a lot of days without his help. Eddie and Caitlyn adore him-plus he does the dishes. He just gets on my very last nerve.

Really my biggest gripe has been resolved-he used to do all of his laundry on the weekend, which is when I also do my laundry. He’s started doing it during the week since he’s retired, and has more time to do it during the week. But why did it take him the whole weekend to do his laundry? Ecause he had SEVERAL loads. They were comprised as follows: 1st load- all of his black socks-maybe 10 pair. 2nd loan- all of his underwear-again, probably 10 pair and an undershirt or 2. 3rd load- 6 every day t-shirts. 4th load- 3 long sleeved shirts. 5th load- 2 pair of jeans. 6th load-2 pair of dress pants. 7th load- 5 towels and 5 wash cloths. You could be like Ed and tell me that I have too much time on my hands to pay this close attention to his loads of laundry, but you should really take my side here. This should be 3 loads of laundry tops.

Ok, done with that…

I got the kid’s Easter baskets out last night and left them in the kitchen. I don’t know why it never occurs to me that Eddie knows what is going on now; he’s not a baby any more. So he asks me “Mommy is the Easter Bunny coming to our house?” I say yes. He puts his hands on his hips “Then why are these Easter baskets in the kitchen already???” I told him that I had to get them out and have them ready for the Easter Bunny to fill with candy. That little stinker.

For the last few months, Eddie has begged me every day to be dropped off in “Caterpillars”, the room for 3-4 year olds at daycare. Some days they had room for him and some days they did not, but the easiest days to drop him off were the days he could go over there. A few weeks ago, I got the notice that he would be moving up permanently effective 4/2. We were excited since he loves it over there so much.

Friday, they had a going away party for him and his friend Mea who was moving up with him. The kids all took turns saying what they would miss about Eddie and Mea, and signed a good bye/good luck card for them. The teachers made a really big deal about their departure. In the back of my mind, I was thinking that this wasn’t a great idea, but didn’t give it a lot of thought because Eddie talked about it all weekend. He was excited to go to Caterpillars.

Until we actually got there, that is. It would be an understatement to say that Eddie was hysterical when I dropped him off this morning. It wasn’t that he was scared, or that anything in particular was wrong with Caterpillars, he was concerned because his friends would miss him. My poor little ball of emotions was concerned that his other friends wouldn’t make it through the day without him. Poor baby.

I finally got out of there after about 20 minutes. I was almost in tears because he was so upset. They ended up taking him over to say hi to his friends to calm him down. I felt so bad for him.

We had a pretty good weekend. We stocked up at BJ’s on Saturday ($456.00 gulp) and made a decision to never take Caitlyn in to a store again. I can’t even begin to describe how terrible she was. Multiple temper tantrums were involved. We had dinner at The Olive Garden with my parents later on, and it was nice, except for trying to avoid Ed’s former business partner who was seated just after us. We haven’t talked to him since, I don’t know, 2002. Could have been very uncomfortable.

Yesterday was uneventful. Ed got up with the kids and let me go back to sleep---then he made pancakes and bacon. I took Eddie for a haircut and then picked up the few groceries I couldn’t get at BJ’s while the kids napped. It got really sunny and warm in the late afternoon, so we played outside while Ed cleaned the garage and barbequed chicken. After Ed left for work, his dad took Eddie up to the store to return bottles and then to Louie’s for a hotdog since he didn’t eat dinner. Kids were both in bed pretty early, and I was asleep before 11.

So, I’m back at work today and it feels like I never left. I really need a vacation.

Because I'm too tired to post, here are 2 amusing pictures. :)

“Why doesn’t she just get a breast reduction?”

I’m sitting in an office with 3 of my peers. The girl walking by has like, an FF cup. I’ve spoken to her about this before. So I tell them- it’s because she wants to breast feed some day, and doesn’t want to jeopardize that.

All three of these women were non breast feeders, while I was. They pretty much trashed breast feeding. “None of my friends did it. I don’t think large breasted women can do it. I don’t think small breasted women can do it. Why would anyone even want to put themselves through that? Isn’t 9 months enough?”

I was (rightfully in my opinion) upset, and I let them know. I breastfed both of my children, and I have very strong feelings on the subject. Unless a woman or her baby has a medical issue that prevents it, I think that every woman owes it to her baby to try breastfeeding. If it doesn’t work out, for what ever reason, it doesn’t work out. But trying is necessary.

Breastfeeding for me, especially with Eddie, my first, was such a wonderful experience. The bonding, the sense of being their sole form of nourishment, the sense that I could still offer them my body’s protection even after they left the womb…It was a great accomplishment for me.

I breastfed Eddie for 7 months and my goal was 6 months. I would have done it longer, but as he increasingly ate more solid foods and as he got so big so fast (he was 20 lbs by the time he was 9 months old) the breast milk was not enough to sustain him. Caitlyn was a lot different. She weaned herself at 4 months because she couldn’t see what was going on- she has been an opinionated busybody since day 1- without her nursing regularly and only being able to pump twice a day at work, my milk dried up fairly quickly.

My point here, is that I tried. I didn’t nurse either of my kids for the recommended year, but I tried. It was inconvenient and uncomfortable at times, but I did it anyway for the sake of my children. With all that is known today about the benefits of breast feeding, I don’t know why more women wouldn’t just try it.

I have to wonder if Subway saves money by only giving you one napkin in that plastic bag they put your sandwich in. They must, judging by the looks they give you if you (heaven forbid) ask for some extras. You really have to wonder. I’m making a mental note to ask my little brother, who is a faithful Subway employee.

So anyway, hello. It’s Tuesday. It still feels like Monday though, or maybe even like it’s last Friday still. I’m in a fog. Caitlyn caught a nasty cold and I’ve been up with her all night, every night since Saturday. Does anyone else wonder why their kids are fine during the day, but seem to be on the brink of death after sundown? I suspect it’s some sort of phenomenon. Out of nowhere last night, Eddie decided that he was also sick. I had no sooner settled down with my Lean Cuisine, glass of chardonnay and TiVo remote than he began screaming that he doesn’t feel good, and need to sleep with me. So, I gorged and guzzled, and settled in to my bed with him, to fall blissfully asleep while watching “Dancing with the Stars”. In case you’re wondering, blissfully asleep means Eddie’s face and sick-o-breath right in my face and an obscene amount of snorting and sniffing with the occasional cough. Cait was up screaming at 2:00, asking for, of all things, a bottle which she hasn’t had in quite some time. I made it for her. I though, “screw all that we’ve worked for, I am way too tired for this.” She went back to sleep, but didn’t touch the bottle, so I wasted 6oz of milk. It was worth it for the fact that both kids were sleeping. I moved Eddie to his bed and settled in to sleep by myself for a while. All was peaceful until 4:45, when somehow, both kids were up screaming again. Cait went back to be easily, while Eddie came back to bed with me. I had even less room this time, since Ed had come home from work by now. In short (ok, in way too long….) I’m really tired.

I spent a lot of time today reading here which is a hysterical debate over tampons/pads vs. “The DivaCup” or “The Keeper”. Very amusing, and for what it’s worth I don’t think that I would use either of the “newfangled” collection cups. Disgusting. This was really one of the funniest threads I’ve read in a long time.

Nothing else is really going on. Ed has recovered nicely from his tonsillectomy. There were a few rough spots, but he did really well. I injured my wrist quite badly this weekend while lifting a box of tray tables at my sister-in-law’s shower. It’s not the bone, but I think I have some deep muscle thing going on. It’s freaking killing me. And I’m scheduled to get this stoooopid temporary crown off on Thursday, and get the real ceramic version installed, so I’m VERY excited. Especially since the temporary actually has a hole in it. They weren’t kidding when they said temporary.

I’m pretty sure I’ve griped enough for the day, so I’m going to get back to work on building a whole new list of issues to gripe about tomorrow.

I feel old, crampy, bloated and arthritic today. Perfect time for a survey, right? Here it is!!



FIRST BORN SURVEY

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? I had been tracking my ovulation, but Ed wasn't sure about having a baby. One night after work, he told me that he wanted to have a baby. That's the day I got pregnant.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? yes

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Very excited, but scared, and also a little bit in disbelief

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? NEVER!

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 25


6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I went to the dr for something completely unrelated but mentioned that I was having horrible cramping that midol wasn't even touching. My period was a day late. Dr. said to take a test just to be sure. She told me it would take about 10 minutes to develop, but came running back in the room 3 minutes later to say that I was, in fact, pregnant.


7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Ed, then Rosanne and Beverly

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? I did. makes planning a lot easier. Plus, I am just so darn nosy....

9. DUE DATE? 1/4/04

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes...but I never threw up from it.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? twinkies and root beer. (I'm convinced this is why Eddie won't eat veggies....) I drank root beer morning, noon and night to the point that I can't even look at it anymore. Snyder's Spicy Jalapeno Pepper Pretzle Pieces.

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? the real question is who didn't iritiate me. People at work still talk about how miserable I was.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? boy

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? not really. i was good either way

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 40 lbs

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? yes

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew.

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNACY? Not until it came to laboring a gigantic baby

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Sister's Hospital

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? Well, I was 5 cm at the dr.'s office and no pain or contractions. They induced me at 6:00 pm and I had him by 2:13 am, so..... 8 hours

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Ed-, but we stopped at the bank, and to get him food on the way-(god I was so hungry and I couldn't eat because they thought they might do a c-section. the chicken salad sandwich I ate while they were stitching me up still ranks as one of the best meals I've ever eaten.)

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Ed, the doctor, and a ton of nurses.

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? natural

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Ummm, yes. Pitocin is evil so I had an epidural.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 10lbs 2 oz

28. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS? He was a littly hypo-glycemic, due to his weight-nothing a little nursing couldn't take care of.

29. WHAT DAY WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN ON? 1/7/2004

30. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Edmund Mason

31. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 3 years, 2 months. ~sniff~

I’ve been quiet, I know. I’ve actually been crazy sick since last Friday, with tonsillitis. I went to the Dr. on Tuesday and was advised that I should probably see someone about taking my tonsils out. (yeah, that's not happening) Ironically, Ed had his tonsils out on Wednesday. Actually, it was his tonsils, adenoids and they re-sculpted the roof of his mouth and removed his uvula. Yuck. He was doing really well up until last night- eating, talking etc. All of the sudden though, he started feeling horrible, the pain killer wasn’t working and he started swelling some more. I think the good stuff from the hospital finally wore off. Today, he is worse then yesterday, and I don’t know what the weekend will bring.

The surgery itself went really well. My mother-in-law drove me nuts, but the surgery went well. She showed up late, played the “doting mother” and then slept in the waiting room the whole time with her winter glove over her eyes. She got pissed when Ed was in recovery, and they would only let me back there. (He needed help getting dressed) So now here’s the kicker. I sent her, along with Ed’s scripts, and my VISA which is linked to my healthcare account to target to get everything filled while I took Ed home and got him settled. We were home for a full 45 minutes before she got back to our house, and when she did come back, she had a horrible look on her face. I asked he what was the matter, and she told me that she lost my card. I asked her to repeat herself, and she said it again. She lost my card. She said she must have flipped it out of her purse when she took the scripts out. She ended up paying for the meds out of her pocket. I am not paying her back. I don’t know how something like that could happen. Anyway, it was cancelled and no extra charges were made. I just need to wait for the new one now. Irritating.

I’ve slept like crap the last few nights and am really beat right now. I could curl up under my desk.

Not much else going on. Eddie has been obsessed with “The Tigger Movie” and watching it at least once a day. Caitlyn has been playing with her baby more and more, wrapping her in her blanket and telling us all to “shhh” as she rocks her. It’s really cute.

I have my bowl-a-thon tomorrow at 8:30 AM. Yippee! Go Junior Achievement!